Finding Safety & Healing Through the Power of Connection
By Bethel Wagner - Practitioner at Sage Wellness Center
In my last blog, I wrote, “The ONLY thing that will allow you to access true and lasting healing is connection. Connection to the infinite, eternal, unchangeable, unfailing Love that brought you into being, coupled with the ability to fully connect to your own heart (both physical and metaphysical), soul, mind, and body.”
I’d like to unpack that idea and flesh it out in a more practical way so that it becomes something you can integrate into your life in meaningful ways. I’ll start by illustrating with my own story.
For the first 35 years of my life, I was disconnected partially or completely in two ways.
First of all, I often felt spiritually disconnected. I grew up in a Christian home, and we prayed, read Scripture, and attended worship services regularly. I had a sense that I should feel some deep, meaningful connection to God, but I often felt flat. I felt like I was just mechanically going through the motions. It seemed like my faith was merely an intellectual assent to a set of theological propositions.
Occasionally, I experienced a glimmer of something deeper, but it was always transitory. Because of my introverted nature, I never voiced any of this. I have a sneaking suspicion, though, that if I had, I would have received very little to help me translate my faith from head knowledge to heart knowledge. Very little to help me experience and interact with God in a way that would allow me to know, to the very core of my being, that I was held and sustained by His infinite, eternal, unchanging love. Very little to help me experience for myself that I am safe, and I am loved at all times and in all places, regardless of any shortcomings or failures on my part.
The second way I was disconnected was from my physical body. My mind was often rushing ahead and wrapped up in planning or worrying about the next thing I “needed” to do or accomplish. Rarely was I fully present in the moment or my body. This often resulted in clumsiness, tripping, or dropping things. I developed a narrative that I was just a clumsy person, and I had no awareness that there was anything I could do about it.
I was also angry and frustrated with my body. My hormones and my cycles seemed to be all over the map, no matter what I did. There were a few things that sort of helped, but nothing that completely solved the problem. I couldn’t see or trust that my body was doing what it was doing for good and understandable reasons, and that it was simply trying to protect me.
When I entered the field of health coaching, all of that began to shift. I began to learn and trust that my body wasn’t broken and that it could heal itself if I quit fighting and being angry with it and started listening to and supporting it.
The most pivotal moment, though, happened when I attended my first breathwork workshop. I walked through the door, curious to see what it was all about. I wanted to see how it could improve my health. I was also curious to see if it could help me process and release the grief and other emotions I was carrying around after watching my father struggle with a mysterious illness for over four years until he passed away. I knew all of those unprocessed emotions were affecting me, and I was ready to let them go.
We spent the first few hours learning how to breathe well, which in and of itself brought more awareness of and connection to my physical body than ever before. Then we lay down and settled in for the transformational breathwork portion.
Never in my life had I felt anything so raw and real and connected. I felt energy pulsing and flowing through my body like never before. My heart cracked wide open, and all of my grief came pouring out. There was no controlling it or holding it back. I simply had to let go and trust that I would be OK.
I felt, not in an intellectual way, but in a heart-centered, inner knowing kind of way, that I was releasing not only my grief, but the grief of my family, and the grief of multiple generations. It was that big and deep and visceral. I wasn’t sure if it would come to an end.
But then, the waves of grief became smaller and smaller, and suddenly all was calm and still. It was like dreaming, but more vivid and real. I saw myself surrounded by and bathed in the most beautiful golden light. I lay there, surrounded and held by angels, and suddenly I knew, to the very core of my being, what it means to feel completely safe and completely loved. All fear, doubt, and worry were gone, and I was at peace. I was at rest.
That sense of safety and connection to Divine Light, Life, and Love became the foundation of healing for me. That sense of connection helped me to cultivate a sense of inner safety and peace. When I am in that space, my body, specifically my nervous system, can shift into a parasympathetic state, signalling the rest of my body that it is safe to enter a deep state of rest and that it is safe to begin the healing and repair process.
It isn’t always necessary to have a “big” experience like I did at that first breathwork workshop. There are simple, daily practices you can learn to help you develop that sense of connection to Divine Love and your body. Below is a simple outline of my daily practice of connection. Feel free to give it a try and experiment with it to make it your own.
Get still and quiet - Find a quiet space, away from as many distractions as possible. Get into a comfortable position, and allow yourself to be still and quiet. This can feel uncomfortable for some people, so start small with just a minute or two of silence. I like to use this time to begin taking slow, full breaths with nice, long, gentle exhales.
Invite - As you begin the time of silence, take a moment to invite/notice the presence of Divine Love. I like to say a simple prayer. “Make me aware of, connect me to, fill me with, and surround me with Your light, life, and love.”
Notice/feel/describe - Next, I will often scan my body from head to toe, noticing as many details as possible. What feels good? What doesn’t? Where am I holding tension, discomfort, or pain, and what is the quality of the sensation? Are there any patterns that I am noticing? Are there any thoughts running through my mind? Are there any emotions I need to acknowledge? If need be, I will write what I notice in my journal so I don’t forget anything.
Ask - Once I complete my body scan, I will often ask some specific questions, like, “What is the tension and discomfort between my shoulder blades connected to? Is there a specific event, belief, or emotion connected to this sensation? What does this part of me need right now?”
Listen - I just get still and quiet again and wait. Sometimes something floats to the surface right away, and sometimes it doesn’t. Either way it goes is perfectly fine. Sometimes it requires patience and/or quieting the logical, linear part of the mind so the body and the subconscious mind can come forward with an answer. If nothing is forthcoming, I sometimes choose to do some energy testing to help narrow things down and get to the root of the issue.
Record - I usually write down any answers or insights that come up so I can use them moving forward and refer back to them as needed.
Integrate/apply - This is where I try to choose one or two simple actions I can take to address and support the area I was focused on. I set an intention to honor and hold this part of myself with kindness, compassion, and understanding. Lastly, I take a moment to express gratitude for my body and remember that it is ALWAYS doing the best it can with what it has, and it is working to protect me and communicate what I need to pay attention to and support.
Are you ready to work on your health in a heart-centered, connected way?
Call Sage Wellness Center at 406-560-0662 or click the button below to schedule an initial consultation today!